1. When I tell you to move, I mean move somewhere else!
2. The dish with the paw print is yours. The dish without the paw print is mine. Placing your paw print in the middle of my dish, does not make it YOUR dish. I can’t stress this enough.
3. The staircase is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom should not be your main objective. And don’t try to trip me on the way down, because I can fall faster than you can run!
4. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. So live with it.
5. You can claw, you can whine, you can meow all you want, but there is no secret exit from the bathroom. There’s no use trying to turn the knob, or sticking your paw under the door. I will come out the same way I went in. Years of bathroom use has taught me that feline participation is not part of the process.
6. Pay close attention to this one because this is the proper order. Kiss me, THEN smell the other cat’s behind. I can’t stress this enough!

Today Daddy is 55. Wooohoooo!

I sent him this~

Dad,

To make you feel younger, I’ve comprised a list of things older than you.

Dirt
Electricity
The wheel
Fire
Spoken Language
Math
And Dinosaurs

Sorry the list is so short. I was going to come up with a list of things younger than you, but it was WAY too long!

Ooooh, cool!

By Lisa Baertlein

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - The Oscar-winning creative team behind the “The Lord of the Rings” films, including director Peter Jackson, has been named to run the production of the upcoming film based on Microsoft Corp.’s blockbuster “Halo” video game, the company said on Tuesday.

Jackson and his wife, Fran Walsh, will serve as the executive producers for “Halo,” which is targeted for worldwide release in mid-2007 by Universal Pictures and Twentieth Century Fox film studios.

Universal will oversee the film’s production and domestic distribution. Fox will handle international distribution.

“Halo” will be shot in Wellington, New Zealand, and will use Jackson’s production and post-production facilities there.

“I’m a huge fan of the game and look forward to helping it come alive on the cinema screen,” Jackson said in a statement.

Reuters

Thanks to Daphne for this goodie!

You have to watch it til the end, but this is good! Very funny. But make sure you’ve got the volume turned down if you’re at work. It’s a Windows Media File, so make sure you’ve got player installed before clicking.

Yes.wmv

Ok, so our youngest, Hannah is playing at a friend’s house Saturday. Having a good time. She comes home in tears because her friend’s little brother accidentally hit her in the face with his lightsaber. Damn those Jedi! So I do the motherly thing and clean her up. I make sure not to dote on her too much, so she’ll calm down. I clean her little cheek up, and offer her some ice to keep the swelling down. She wants the ice, so I take her in the kitchen, grab a clean towel, and reach in the freezer for a re-freezable icepack. I wrap it in the towel and hand it to her, all the while reassuring her she’ll be fine and she’ll still be beautiful, despite this tragic accident. She goes to watch a little TV and calm down and I’m happy. She comes back later with the towel and says she’s ready to go play again. I check her cheek and she looks fine. So off she goes. I take the towel into the kitchen to put the icepack back into the freezer and unwrap it and uh oh, it’s not an icepack. Instead of an icepack, I had wrapped up a Hot Pocket (shaped like the icepack) and given it to her. So my darling baby girl walked around with a Hot Pocket on her face Saturday afternoon.

When did I become such an airhead?

Governmentiun is the heaviest element yet known to science. It has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentiun has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentiun causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentiun has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentiun’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads to some scientists to speculate that Governmentiun is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as ” critical morass.” You will know it when you see it.

Woohoo! Finally, hockey season is here!