How can you not want to read about that?!?

From the WOAI: San Antonio News

Flying Cow Leaves Two Police Cars in Flames
LAST UPDATE: 3/17/2006 6:09:30 AM
Posted By: Mandi Bishop

Talk about a wild night near Seguin. A cow came flying out of its trailer, sent DPS and police scrambling, and left two police cars going up in flames.

“It was almost hard to believe,” said Detective Sergeant Maureen Watson. She has been in law enforcement for 15 years, and says she “never had a day like this. I mean the best way to characterize this it, is it’s bizarre. It’s really really strange.”

It’s strange because it started out with a truck towing cattle, and ended in fire.

Watson told News 4 WOAI, “We believe the gate of the cattle trailer came open, and the cow, for lack of a better phrase spilled out onto the Interstate. It was pretty chaotic for a while.”

Several cars hit some of the cows. One cow died. DPS troopers called for backup.

That’s when one officer was nearly run down by a speeding truck, carrying two illegal immigrants inside.

Seguin Police were out looking for those illegal immigrants. They parked their cars in the hot grass, burning two of them including that brand new 2006 Crown Victoria. Watson said, “Well, all of a sudden, another officer who’d arrived on the scene, alerted the sergeant that there was a fire.”

Everything inside was destroyed, including tens of thousands of dollars worth of equipment designed for the patrol cars.

Read the rest here

I may have to make a whole new catagory for stuff like this. Wow.

This is too funny! Oh schnap!

1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles

6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop over the walls to see what’s going on.

7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.

8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

10. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one’s workplace.

11. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

12. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

13. 404: Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message “404 Not Found,” meaning that the requested site could not be located.

14. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake)

15. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.

*We got off the Titanic first.
*We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
*Our boyfriend’s clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
*We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
*Taxis stop for us.
*Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
*We don’t look like a frog in a blender when we dance.
*Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies (you get the point).
*New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
*No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.
*If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
*We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
*We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
*Our friends won’t think we’re weird if we ask whether there’s spinach in our teeth.
*There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

From The Clarion Ledger
Fifth Circuit upholds dismissal of sex toy law challenge
The Associated Press

A federal appeals court has upheld the dismissal of lawsuit filed by a Rankin County adult store, which challenged the constitutionality of a Mississippi law that bans the sale of sex toys.

The lawsuit was brought by Romantic Adventures, owned by HCH Corp., in federal court in 2004 after two of its employees were charged in violation of the law and its sexual devices were seized. The misdemeanor charges were filed in 2002 in Rankin County Justice Court. Proceedings in the justice court were postponed while the federal case continued.

HCH Corp. contended the state law violated freedom speech and privacy rights and other constitutional issues.

In February 2005, U.S. District Judge William H. Barbour Jr. dismissed the lawsuit without prejudice, meaning the suit could be refiled.

Barbour said the two employees were charged on April 16, 2004. He said the federal lawsuit was filed May 7, 2004.

Barbour said the U.S. Supreme Court in a 1971 case ruled that federal courts cannot hear a case if a state criminal prosecution is pending when the federal lawsuit is filed. Barbour said even though there was no activity in the Rankin County case, it is pending and the federal court could not consider any issues until the local case is decided.

On Monday, the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals upheld Barbour’s decision. The court said Barbour did not err in his ruling. Monday’s ruling was issued by a panel of three 5th Circuit judges: Grady Jolly, Thomas M. Reavley and Harold DeMoss.

At least one challenge to the sex toys law has been rejected in the Mississippi courts.

In March 2004, the Mississippi Supreme Court upheld the constitutionality of the law and ruled the advertising of the sexual devices is not protected by the right to free speech. Such advertisements, the court said, promote an illegal transaction.

Read the rest here

Looks like I’ll have to keep “importing” my marital aids.

Last night we had the end of year party for the season ticket holders and it was great! We all had a very good time at Jillian’s at Peabody Place, bowling and chatting it up with the players. Everyone had a great time. Special thanks to Travis Banga and Tracey, for letting the kids win!

“Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.”

~Albert Einstein

Here’s how they do Yoga in most of the world~

And here’s how we do it here in Mississippi~

I managed to get out of bed this am with no cigarette. I should be fine as long as no one tries to take my coffee…….