I can’t believe it’s almost August! Where does the time go? I remember as a kid feeling like time stood still, and now as an adult I feel like Friday afternoons I blink and it’s Monday morning again. Geesh.

Check out this latest Worth1000 contest, with video games that never quite made it.

If you’re going to be parked in an airport anytime soon, use AirPower Wiki to find out where all the power outlets are in major airports!

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one…

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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… sorry….

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Tech support: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello… I can’t print.
Tech support: Would you click on “start” for me and…
Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates.

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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it…

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Customer: I have problems printing in red…
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah………………..thank you.

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Tech support: What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah…that one does work…

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Tech support: Your password is the small letter “a” as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

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Customer: can’t get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry…Internet Explorer.

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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under Windows?
Customer: “No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.”

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And last but not least…

Tech support: “Okay Bob, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter “P” to bring up the Program Manager.”
Customer: I don’t have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: “P”…..on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

Anyone else remember Spaghetti Ice Cream?

Thanks to Steph for finding this gem for me!

A U.S. Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious.

On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.

The Marine reported, “I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road. “I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein is a miserable, lowlife scumbag, and he yelled back that Ted Kennedy is a good-for-nothing, fat, left wing liberal drunk.”

“So I said that Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts like a frigid, mean-spirited lesbian! He retaliated by yelling, Oh yeah? Well, so does Hillary Clinton!”

“And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a truck hit us.”

Thanks Daddy

I say it’s blissful today, we’ll see how I feel in a month.

I’ve decided to take the plunge and repair and upgrade the iMac.

I’ve got this optical drive coming, and I’ll pick up some RAM.

And I’ll just use the drive out of Hannah’s current cow computer (thanks Robert) and she should be good to go. I’ve also got a call in to some old friend’s at the Apple Store for a battery. I figure to replace as much as possible while I’ve got it gutted. Then I’ll install the firmware upgrade, and take it up to 10.2.

Here’s keeping my fingers crossed that it all goes well!

Last night Will brought home a Blueberry iMac that he got for a real steal. It’s in pristine condition, with the original keyboard, mouse, all the discs, books, etc. The only con is that the optical drive is on the fritz. So now I’m trying to decide what to do with it. Do I nurture it back to health? Or do I start cutting glass for an iMacquarium?

That’s not a photoshop job, the pointer is the kite!

If you haven’t visited Noisebot you’re missing out!