From CentralHockeyLeague.com, by CHL Jr. Reporter Austin Russell

January 19, 2007 - On January 19th, 2007, the RiverKings played the Odessa Jackalopes for the first of three times this season. When my family got to the Desoto Civic Center, the radio announcer, Jim Erickson, led me to the press box and my things were laid out neatly before me. I got everything I needed together in front of me and got ready for the game. I was looking forward to a great experience as the CHL Jr Reporter of the night.

The Jackalopes scored a goal early into the game at 1:33. The goal was scored by #18 Nathan Ward, with assists by #23 Don Margettie and #16 Jeff Ewasko. The Jackalopes got a penalty after the goal, just 2 minutes into the game, it was on #17 Andrew Davis for tripping, giving the Kings the powerplay. Another penalty on #17 Davis for holding on the Jackalopes, giving the Kings the powerplay yet again 5:24 into the game. Taking advantage of the powerplay, RiverKing Brad Wanchulak scored a goal 7:03, assisted by #4 Bobby Gates and #9 Jason Sessa, evening the score. RiverKings captain Derek Landmesser got another penalty at 16:21 for crosschecking, putting the RiverKings on the penalty kill. The Jackalopes, taking advantage of the powerplay, scored a goal 17:04 into the game, by #17 Davis, assisted by #23 Margettie. The first period ended with the score 2-1, the Kings behind by one.

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The RiverKings are so kicking ass these days! I tell you what, I’m still a relatively new RiverKings fan (3rd year as a season ticket holder), but things are definitely more fun this year. The last two seasons have been a bit of a slump (understatement of the year) for the RiverKings. This year though they brought their “A” game and it shows!

This last weekend the RiverKings played Odessa Friday night and Saturday afternoon, and although I didn’t make it to the Friday night game I went to Saturday’s game and they rocked! I was sad to miss Friday night’s game since that was Austin’s night to be the CHL Jr. Reporter. But I did get to read his article, and I think it’s a good one. So we went Saturday, and Will was at work. Turns out they really wanted some photos shot because some of the guys were playing with pink sticks to honor the Susan B Komen foundation as the featured non-profit of the day. Well, I had brought my camera to get some pics of Austin’s interview (didn’t get to do it Friday night), so I offered to shoot em. I moved down a bit to get a better angle and I had a blast! It was a lot of fun, and I got a few decent shots. I uploaded them over at RiverKingsFans.com
You’ll notice that the RiverKings are also wearing red, because this year, in order to commemorate 15 years, they’re wearing all the retro jerseys of prior years. I did not stay to bid on these, only because I hate the RedWings. I did get a SouthStars jersey last time, so I’m good.

Anyway, way to go RiverKings! Keep it up!

WOMAN’S PRAYER:

Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who’s not a creep, one who’s handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long, one who thinks before he speaks, and one who’ll call often and not wait weeks.
I pray he’s gainfully employed, when I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door, Massages my back and begs to do more. Oh!
Send me a man who’ll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to “how big is my behind?”
I pray that this man will love me to no end, and always be my very best friend.

MAN’S PRAYER:

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a golf course.
I know that this doesn’t rhyme and I don’t give a shit .

This is why I was always on the honor roll.

See if you can name all the games used here:

I need to start going to bed earlier. At least I think so. This is how the coffee maker in the breakroom looks to the naked eye:

But this is how it looks to me:

I need more sleep.

Computers and Electronics as Depicted in Movies:

Word processors never display a cursor.

You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences.

All monitors display inch-high letters.

High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution, will have easy to understand graphical interfaces.
Those that don’t, have incredibly powerful text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.

Corollary: you can gain access to any information you want by simply typing “ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES” on any keyboard.

Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing “UPLOAD VIRUS” (see “Fortress”).

All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain’s desktop computer, even if it’s turned off.

Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn’t go faster than you can read. The *really* advanced ones also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer.

All computer panels have thousands of volts and flash pots just underneath the surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash, a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks, and an explosion that forces you backwards.

People typing away on a computer will turn it off without saving the data.

A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world before intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.
Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function (see “Demolition Man” and >countless others).

Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. Movie modems usually appear to transmit data at the speed of two gigabytes per second.

When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the control panels will explode, as will the entire building.

If a disk has got encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a password when you try to access it.

No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it’ll be readable by any system you put it into. All application software is usable by all computer platforms The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it has (Aliens). However, everyone must have been highly trained, because the buttons aren’t labeled.

Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying three- dimensional, active animation, photo-realistic graphics capability.

Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem to have amazing real-time video phone capabilities and the performance of a CRAY Supercomputer .

Whenever a character looks at a VDU, the image is so bright that it projects itself onto his/her face (see “Alien”, “2001″).

That apparently my warranty is up. Look at what I got from my ortho doc on Monday.

Isn’t he sweet? I’m thinking of it as a late birthday present. You can’t tell in the pic, cause I took it with my Treo, but it’s a very pretty (NOT) green and black plaid. It’s so stylish. Turning 36 is great.

Two women friends had gone for a girl’s night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with
so she thought she would take off her panties and use them. Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that. After the
girls did their business they proceeded to go home.

The next day one of the women’s husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, “These girl nights have got to stop! I’m starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!!”

“That’s nothing” said the other husband, “Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said…..
‘From all of us at the Fire Station. We’ll never forget you.’

Thanks IET