Ramblings of the Mad Cow

I,__________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn’t pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

Glass of wine
Chocolate
Margarita
Sex
Martini
Cold Beer
Chocolate
Sex
Mexican food
Chocolate
French fries
Chocolate
Pizza
Sex
Ice cream
Cup of tea
Chocolate
Chocolate
Sex
Chocolate

It should be presumed that I won’t ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, let the ‘fat lady sing,’ and call it a day!

As one of the millions that grew up laughing at the 7 dirty words, I can honestly say he’ll be missed.  

RIP, funny man.

Wish I could print this out for about a dozen ol’ farts I know.

Click on the image to see the full blown, hilarious version.